I am against the idea for several reasons:
1st- I think it is a very outdated idea, and it goes against what I believe in (gender equality).
2nd- It is not even traditional where I come from.
How would you guys feel if your fiancee told you she had no plans to change her name?
Guys: How would you feel if your bride does not want to change her name?
That is totally acceptable.
If anybody could give me a REASONABLE explanation about why in the 21st century a wife should carry her husband's last name, I'd appreciate it.
Maybe, It would be interesting if both changed their names - she could have her husband's last name as a middle one and vice-versa.
Guys: How would you feel if your bride does not want to change her name?
Honestly, I wouldn't marry a woman that wouldn't take my name. Fortunately, my wife doesn't feel as you do at all, and sees your %26quot;liberation%26quot; as a prison and a lie.
Would Not bother me at all !!! My wife kept her name
I think it would be silly to have Two William J Tams in the same House :) (!)
Gender equality be damned, if she will not do it she will not be my bride.
I think your wrong, and selfish.
gender equality?
He's not taking away your right to vote, lady...geez.
I think you have some feminist issues you need to work with. I would never marry a woman who thought she was too %26quot;good%26quot; to accept my last name. Screw that.
You're weird
I wouldn't mind at all. If she wants to keep her own last name, I can respect that. On top of that, my last name is ridiculously long. You can put old people to sleep reading them my last name.
You're not marrying a name, you're marrying a person.
I would be okay with that as long as I kept the girl. That is all that really matters
Wouldn't bother me at all.
By the way, just because it isn't traditional where you come from, doesn't mean it's not traditional elsewhere.
personally i would not care. however, there would be a question in my mind as to your commitment to the union.
it might also cause anyone to wonder if there is, in fact, a real joining of the two persons into one unit.
are we of one mind?
might she be proving that she is not really married.
it might be embarrassing when we travel, i tell people she is my wife and she comes up with a different name.
in japan they recognized this problem many years ago and, after marriage, society treated men as a part of the woman's family, and the women as part of the mans family. there was a literal separation and re joining of the bride and groom to the spouses family.
unfortunately, this not as strictly enforced today as it used to be. but the practice makes sense.
i hope your reasoning has nothing to do with trying to prove who has the biggest bone or beef. lets agree and admit that he has the only and biggest bone. also, lets agree that without you there can be no union, no matter who has the bone. naturally, you do have the beef he needs.
after careful though, i might postpone the union (marriage), if the relationship was not air and water tight.
If you don't want to change your last name, you shouldn't marry him if he wants you to take his last name. He's not for you.
If he's ok, then it's ok.
my husband and I discussed this for a long time. we decided that I would change my name to make a lot of things easier down the road, like picking up kids from school, bank accounts and other finanaces, etc.
the only thing to be aware of if you keep our maiden name is that some people will call you mrs ____ because they assume that is correct - don't be offended by it and you'll be fine.
I plan to change my name if I ever get married can't wait actually.
Go girl. I'm not changing my name either.
Don't think it's weird, or wrong, or whatever these egomaniacs are saying.
How would THEY feel if they were expected to change the name by which they'd been known their entire lives? Men would NEVER go for that junk.
I am a woman and I do not like my maiden name LOL. Boy I got teased in school because of my first and last name. Now that I have my spouse's last name, people can't even pronounce it and just call me by my first name :-)
I'm not a guy, but I'll go ahead and answer it.
It should be up to the bride whether or not she wants to change it. For the longest time I said I would NEVER change my last name (I'm basically obessed with trying to get gender equality). Now that I'm thinking more %26quot;long term%26quot;, I kind of like his last name better. It sounds better than my name.. and I also think it will help bring our (future) family together.
As of now I have 2 last names. My mom kept her last name when she married my dad. Luckily I'll get to boot both last names and just take one simple (but commonly mispelled) last name.
Changing your name has NOTHING to do with your independence, nor feminism.
If you two are planning at all to have children, you MUST have one family name. You can keep your maiden name as your middle name, and take your husband's surname.
When I was deciding what to do previous to getting married - I had two degrees, a great career, and came from a well-known family, so the surname was special. However, my husband said he was willing to change his surname to mine if I didn't change mine to his. In the end, I happily took his name.
Wow, I can't believe how many people resonded that they would not marry becasue of this!!!
I think your reasons are a bit odd, but I plan to take the middle ground and hyphenate. I am keeping my last name in respect to my heritage and because I have carreer reasons, but taking his because I want to be reconized as a part of the family.
Best of luck to you.
