I don%26#039;t have a problem with gays and lesbians. You can like or love anybody regardless of gender. What I don%26#039;t understand is transsexuals. I feel if you are born male or female that is what you are. And even if you changed your outward appearance to fit the opposite gender you would never be the opposite gender. I remember a woman on Maury who got a sex change and she described how she felt being a woman. She said she always hated being a woman; she hated having breast, menstrual cycles, and all the physical features related to being a woman. I believe she hated them so much that she wanted to kill herself.
I don%26#039;t understand how someone can hate themselves so much that they would kill themselves, especially when they%26#039;re normal. You have people who have debilitating disorders, diseases, and conditions that alter the way they look to the point where they cannot function in society. But a transsexual before the transformation could function in the world; there is nothing wrong with them. If you are a transsexual, can you help me understand?
I don%26#039;t understand transsexuals?
People don%26#039;t understand why im bi-sexual people dont understand why people are gay people don%26#039;t understand you don%26#039;t have to understand a certain way a person fell just respect it .......
I don%26#039;t understand transsexuals?
brain in the wrong body...until it is right...it will never feel right....
if ur open to gays...us should be open to trani%26#039;s
%26quot;And even if you changed your outward appearance to fit the opposite gender you would never be the opposite gender.%26quot;
I%26#039;m curious as to what you think makes you the gender that you are. If you could tell me, I%26#039;d be glad to keep talking.
Transsexuality is a genuine scientific thing. It%26#039;s not about delusional people who hate themselves, but about being born into the wrong body.
I appreciate that you admit that you don%26#039;t understand. Some people will just decide that they know something and not seek knowledge. You are wiser than most for making an attempt at understanding. That being said, I must point out that your current understanding doesn%26#039;t reflect reality.
Gender and sex are two different things. Many people confuse the two words as if they were interchangeable.
Sex= bio body. XX or XY chromosomes.
Gender= who you ARE. How you feel. How you relate to the world.
You cannot change gender. It is innate. You can change sex.
For some people, myself included, our gender does not match our sex. That is a very uncomfortable feeling. Your avatar shows a female, so for this, I%26#039;m going to assume that you are a woman. Lets say that you have all the feelings of being a woman, the femininity, feeling natural as a female. It%26#039;s just you, you%26#039;re naturally female. But, lets say that your body was male. Now you have this penis, more body hair, facial hair, perhaps you%26#039;re balding, you%26#039;re bulkier, your voice is too deep, etc.
You%26#039;d feel uncomfortable too.
Ok... think about it this way... your hair you can comb it, dye it change it... It doesn%26#039;t seem like a big deal it%26#039;s only hair Right? Well gender is not so simple but similar... for instance think about people who are inter-sexed and never know it? How could you function in the world if you know with all your being that you are not yourself... people feel that way about something as simple as a zit!!! Imagine your whole being!!! Being trapped in a body you know isn%26#039;t for you!!! How could you function... it is a very hard thing to cope with (and i can only imagine) I have many transgendered friends and they are really strong to be able to live with such a difficult position... the judgment, the embarrassment, just so they can feel whole... Props to them!!! They are people and all people deserve dignity and respect and the wonderful thing is that no one should have to justify WHAT they are... people should be accepted for WHO they are!!!
It is actually not that difficult of a concept to understand. Look at yourself. Now take away your body so that only your %26quot;essence%26quot; or soul is there. Now put that %26quot;essence%26quot; of who you are in the body of the opposite sex and tell me you could live the rest of your life just fine.
What people do not understand is, this is literally the case. In a transsexual woman, the brain is ACTUALLY female. In a transsexual man, the brain is ACTUALLY male. And yes this is a physically verifiable fact. It is not that someone merely believes or wants to be different. It is this person%26#039;s brain and body do not match.
Okay, you know how some women like other women? they are just born that way? With a deviance from normality, but still in-born? Some people are like that but with sexuality, but with gender identity. Don%26#039;t confuse the two. You can be born with the body of one sex but have the %26quot;brain%26quot; and feel like the other.
And really, though you claim they are normal, they don%26#039;t %26quot;feel%26quot; normal. They want to be the opposite sex and are sad/angry that they were born a boy/girl.
I don%26#039;t think it%26#039;s too hard to grasp... if you just open your mind a little.
It has nothing to do with hating ourselves. Transsexualism is a naturally occurring birth condition characterized by a brain-body mismatch. Ypu can read much more here:
http://www.LynnConway.com
No, we do not have to %26quot;accept%26quot; our birth condition when there is something that can be done about it. You don%26#039;t realize the pain involved of trying to be something you%26#039;re not. I%26#039;ll edit this in a moment with a better explanation.
Here%26#039;s a primer:
Transsexuality 101
What is a transsexual?
For simplicity, a transsexual is a person whose inner sense of gender identity and brain patterns are completely the opposite of what physical form they are born into. This is a recognized medical condition which is completely unrelated to sexuality or sexual preference at all, but unfortunately society sees only brazen gay and bisexual people out there using gender bending to express their sexuality and assumes this is what transsexuals are too. A real transsexual has no more in common with a drag queen, gay or bisexual person than they do with a chimpanzee! They have a deep basic incongruity between their inner identity and their physical form which can only best be expressed as something which is within their very soul. Transsexuality occurs in equal numbers across born male and born female people. Estimates are that approximately 1 in 30,000 people are born with the condition. (Newer estimates are 1:500 people are born transsexual http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/T鈥?/a> )
How does this happen?
There are many things known today through years of research, though no one single absolute cause has been quantified as of yet. It is almost universally believed that during the formation of the fetus in utero, a hormonal imbalance affects the development of the body sex characteristics in a way that is misaligned with the core gender brain wiring. The brain %26quot;gender identity%26quot; is determined very early on in the fetal growth process, though the messages of an incorrect hormone balance sent to the developing fetus鈥?body, redirects the %26quot;intended%26quot; natural development to the wrong physical gender. Once born, while growing up the body鈥檚 own hormone generators then further the physical discrepancy - especially once puberty arrives. Unique chormosonal or genetic influences are also possible contributing factors that are being researched as additional contributing components to the phenomenon. It is very important to understand that no two things in nature are alike - there is no black and white bipolar scheme in life, and random types of birth development happen in all species, including transsexuality. Much more common birth development variations include Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome , Klinefelter Syndrome , being Intersexed , or Gender Mosaic.
Transsexuality is not hereditary, and a person cannot not just %26quot;become%26quot; transsexual one day. As an extremely complex birth condition the situation is simply a variable in nature and there is nothing and no one to blame. It can actually be a very enlightening, even religious experience about the nature of the universe and humanity far beyond simple primative bi-polar sociological models. Most transsexuals are acutely aware of something feeling incorrect from a very early age but lack the ability to approach the issue. Transsexuality is not contagious, a %26quot;demon%26quot; or a cult into which someone can be enticed into - one cannot %26quot;catch%26quot; it, or turn into it...one is simply born transsexual. It occurs across all races, socioeconomic classes, religions, and childhood family upbringings, and has been documented throughout history for thousands of years...many cultures even have revered or worshipped them for having extraordinary vision and wisdom. Transsexuals are actually very good, intelligent, family loving people who are valuable, creative and productive members of society when given the opportunity to flourish without oppression.
How could someone want %26quot;that%26quot; surgery?
The person with transsexuality eventually must learn to accept their situation if they are to survive happily in self congruity, and not be rendered incapacitated by depression and other co-morbid mental health problems out of frustration and despair. They often have worked very hard at being everything they could for everyone else but no matter how hard they try, they always come up feeling empty and unfulfilled because they are still not whole. These feelings magnify over time until eventually the individual is overwhelmed in dysphoria. They may have tried to live in a role and style that is incongruous for a long, long time until it finally becomes unbearable鈥?this can become a critical life threatening time for the transsexual. To simply try to even live in some sort of duality or %26quot;alternative lifestyle%26quot; without true physical and social alignment is to just continue the intolerable hypocrisy of a masquerade in a different form, still being something they are not. The ultimate goal is to be truthful and completely real unto themselves as their true gender identity dictates. The only real option left then becomes the social process of transitioning to their correct gender and also the medical process of hormone therapy and surgery. Physical pain and expenses become completely insignificant in comparison to the prospects of having to endure living life in a false way any longer.
The Life Experience of a Transsexual.
A person with transsexuality will almost always go through many devastating and long stages of fear, guilt, anger, shame, self loathing and emotional distress throughout their life as a result of the incongruity. They know that they will also likely face fear, hatred, prejudice, violence and rejection 鈥?sometimes even from those they may love or respect most. No one wants or chooses to have this happen to them, so as a result transsexuals typically live seriously disrupted lives tangled in deep inner emotional conflict. They must go through a very long difficult process of getting beyond their internalized conflicts and societal pressures by learning to finally accept that this is just who they are, and these are the cards they have been dealt in life. It is then that they realize they must play it out to the best of their ability to achieve congruity, for their own health and well being.
Often those with transsexuality will attempt almost anything in the world to avoid facing their fears and unavoidable situation, including super-human macho activities or careers, marriage, family, extreme creative endeavors or even turn to religion, drugs or alcohol to escape. Sooner or later though, if they have survived this far they will find that these things did not work and they must face yet another even greater battle with their transsexual %26quot;demon%26quot;. The fear of facing the issue can instill an emotional paralysis that can be difficult if not impossible to shake. It is then that they must seek professional assistance to gain some kind of movement in their situation. There is an immense amount of deep inner personal work ahead for someone who reaches this point, many unfortunately, never make it. If they do, they come to realize that the %26quot;demon%26quot; was an internally fabricated myth woven out of fear of change, emotion, insecurity and social pressure - It was never even really there at all. As US President F.D.Roosevelt. put it - %26quot;the only thing we have to fear is fear itself鈥攏ameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts%26quot;
The Final Freedom.
Once the transsexual person has overcome their fears, guilt and shame and accepted themselves and learned to feel self worth, happiness and inner pride, with proper guidance they will move forward through transition and on to establish new lives in the properly aligned role. The period of time can be short sometimes for very young transsexuals who can%26#039;t find coping skills in life or are less affected by social %26quot;role%26quot; pressures to conform to - or it can take years, even decades to unfold. The path can be a treacherous, painful, expensive, lonely and emotional one but it can be done successfully with the highly rewarding end result of rising above the flames of their torment and dysphoria like a Phoenix from the ashes.
To just feel %26quot;normal%26quot; is something almost everyone takes for granted in life - For the person afflicted with transsexuality, it is the Holy Grail. Once an individual passes through the processes involved, wholeness of being is achieved and the person can transcend their past medical condition and live a balanced, normal life.
Source: http://dazzled.com/igirl/ts101.htm (link no longer active)
well I guess you%26#039;re lucky that you feel like you could live as a man or a woman depending on what you were born as.. a lot of people can%26#039;t just live as someone they%26#039;re not and get used to it.. it%26#039;s okay to be different and want to change yourself.. believe it or not, feeling as if you%26#039;re in the wrong body affects your ability to function also.. it can affect alot of things. I know for me it affected how I thought of myself and how others thought of me. I would be so self concious and worry all the time. I wouldn%26#039;t go out in public. I didn%26#039;t even want to go to school anymore. it got so bad that I wanted to kill myself and i didn%26#039;t care anymore. and you don%26#039;t think that being trans affects your ability to function? living as someone you%26#039;re not is a horrible thing to deal with. unless you know what it feels like, I don%26#039;t think you should have any say in the matter.. and just because you may think somebody%26#039;s %26quot;normal%26quot;, doesn%26#039;t mean that they think that.. sure they%26#039;re normal on the outside but they%26#039;re not on the inside and why should they have to live with that when there%26#039;s ways to change themselves and be happy? nobody wants to be unhappy and they don%26#039;t want to hate themselves.. live and let live
See the problem is you can%26#039;t really accept it, as no one with a problem would. But unlike most psychological problems you can%26#039;t really fix it with regular therapy, and the AMA has agreed with that since 1971. See if you woke up as a man you would not accept it, if you knew it was only for a day or something then you would, because it would be a fun and interesting experience. But forever? No, because you have a woman%26#039;s brain and you would hate it if it was for life.
Remember it%26#039;s not a feeling of preferring to be a woman, it%26#039;s your brain telling you you are a women(or a man) and looking at yourself and being %26quot;ugh%26quot; every time you see yourself and every day of your life. And there%26#039;s a great amount of truth to that, the few studies done into it have shown at least male to female transsexuals even before starting any hormones had brains that in structure and in processing information resembled women%26#039;s brains more.
One good read on the theory of it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminine_es鈥?/a>
Perhaps this analogy might help you gain a little understanding. It%26#039;s a bit long, but please bear with me.
For the sake of this analogy, let%26#039;s assume that the normal length of a human leg is between 30 and 34 inches.
Now, suppose there is a woman whose left leg is 32 inches long, and her right leg is 33 inches long. Both legs are within the normal range; neither is deformed, or damaged in any way, they just don%26#039;t match. it%26#039;s not obvious to anyone else, and she is able to function reasonably well, but she feels distressed and self-conscious by the disparity. Even though neither leg is unhealthy, or (in itself) dysfunctional, she could have the left one lengthened, or the right shortened, by surgery; the result of this surgery would be visible to anyone, but she would feel normal, healthy and happy if she has it. Is she crazy to want to do this? Should she stay the way she was born, despite the pain and distress it%26#039;s causing her, or should she seek treatment?
Transsexual people are in EXACTLY the same position; except than rather than legs, our disparity is between our brains, and our bodies. Neither is damaged, or dysfunctional; they simply don%26#039;t match each other, and this causes us severe, sometimes fatal, psychic and emotional pain and distress. Yes, we can %26#039;function%26#039; (most of us can, anyway), but we%26#039;re not functioning properly.
For us to feel normal, healthy and happy, one or the other has to be changed; the brain can%26#039;t be changed (it%26#039;s been tried, many times, and doesn%26#039;t work) but the body can. So, just as the woman in the analogy above changes one of her legs to match the other, we change our bodies to match our brains, so that we can enjoy the same (or nearly the same) life as anyone else.
Its not about %26#039;hating ourselves%26#039; - quite the reverse; it%26#039;s about loving ourselves enough to go through long, painful, and difficult medical treatments just to be who we are.
Does that make it easier for you to understand?
BTW, a couple of points;
- %26#039;Gender%26#039; is not a social construct. Gender ROLES are a social construct; gender identity is an innate neurological constant.
- the %26#039;woman%26#039; you saw on television wasn%26#039;t a woman; she was a man, born transsexual, which is why having female bodily functions made her feel so uncomfortable.
they are messed up.....you arent supposed to understand them..
you still are what you were born...you are lying to yourself
I am a crossdresser and I would never even consider a sex change I like that woman would hate menstrual cycles and things like that. I don%26#039;t understand this either.
