1. How did you afford the astronomical costs and the physical burden of the surgery? How did it affect your life and career?
2. What do you do for a living? How did the people around you react to the idea of you changing your gender (physically)?
Sorry, I%26#039;m just curious! But the costs still hit me as way too much for most people to afford. How did you do it?!
Two questions for transexuals?
1. As I%26#039;ve not yet had any surgery, I haven%26#039;t had to %26quot;afford that cost%26quot;, however when the time comes, I will either use savings, take a loan (most likely) or throw it on a credit card and pay it off over a few years. The actual GRS surgery is not THAT expensive in relative terms (less than a decent a new car these days.) People whine a lot about the cost of surgery, but it%26#039;s really not that bad compared to all the other costs. Plus, since surgery is the last thing you do, you have a couple of years or more to save up for it. What is rough are all the OTHER costs. For example, I do two hours a week of electrolysis, and have completed about 35 of an estimated 150 to 200 hours. That%26#039;s a $400 a month expense I didn%26#039;t have before Transition. I also have some $150-$200 a month in drug costs and co-pays with doctors and specialists, as well as therapy costs (only 22 are covered by insurance, and I still have a $50 co-pay.) I%26#039;m spending at least an extra $100 a month on gas to run around, and on top of all that, I%26#039;m slowly buying a new wardrobe, and good quality clothes for women are expensive (plus, being much taller than the average female forces me to shop in specialty $$$ stores.) This is all before I%26#039;ve spent a dime on makeup, jewelry, accessories, skin care, trips to the salon, or any of the other %26quot;niceties%26quot; that most women enjoy.
Then there is the little matter of $30,000 facial feminization surgery. That%26#039;s going to be a tough one. I%26#039;m going to have to do some serious juggling to pull that off.
When I have my surgeries, I will probably close one of my businesses for a couple of weeks, and then work from home for a few weeks. My other business is online, and I have a partner, so that is covered. Since I don%26#039;t have a boss or co-workers to worry about, my only issue is my clients, and employees, though right now I%26#039;m only using part-timers, so clients are the only real concern. I%26#039;ve already started putting things into play to have certain companies I work with handle some of my business during this period. It will be inconvenient, but probably a lot easier than what other people go through.
2. I own two businesses, one involving website development, and the other involves graphic design, printing %26amp; apparel. Like all companies, I%26#039;ve suffered in the recession, but I do very dynamic work, and can quickly shift gears to make money in unconventional ways. I%26#039;ve never been a person to let money be an obstacle. When I want something, I figure out the cost, and then devise a way to make the money. To me, GRS surgery is no different than buying a new piece of equipment, or a vehicle, or new software. When I want something, If I can%26#039;t afford it outright, I find a way to finance it. Money is just a tool. People are raised thinking money is something that you get in exchange for your labor, and I guess for most people that%26#039;s true. To me, money is just an inconvenient obstacle to getting what you want. There%26#039;s plenty of money out in the world for you to get anything you want. You just need to figure out how to get your hands on it.
The people around me who know have all been 100% supportive (well, except for an online friend who lives across the country) but I am still in the process of coming out to my immediate family (siblings %26amp; parents.) I anticipate a lot of tears, but ultimately acceptance. My family, on the whole, is pretty open-minded, but you really never know until you tell them. Some friends I%26#039;m sure will be less accepting, but my two closest friends are already behind me, so the rest can walk away and it%26#039;s not going to crush me. I%26#039;ll make new friends. I%26#039;m more concerned about clients having a problem with it, but so far, those I%26#039;ve told have also been accepting.
All things considered, this seems to be the easiest part of Transition so far. I guess I have a somewhat different attitude than the typical transperson. I%26#039;ve always been a loner, and kept people at a distance. I never wanted children and relationships with people never worked for me because of my Transsexualism. As an artist, even as a kid, I%26#039;ve always had a very weird, independent, quirky personality, so my friends tend to be people who are also weird, independent and quirky. They EXPECT wild, crazy sh*t from me, so Transition is probably less of a surprise, and more of a %26quot;ha ha, it figures%26quot; to them. I won%26#039;t be at all surprised if after I am totally out, other people step forward as trans. That%26#039;s the sort of personality I have.
Ultimately, this condition isn%26#039;t who I am. I%26#039;m not %26quot;a transsexual.%26quot; I do not intend to allow it to define me, any more than I%26#039;d allow the bar in my leg, or the fake teeth in my mouth define who I am. These things are nothing to hide or be ashamed of, because they%26#039;re NON-ISSUES. I%26#039;m a woman who was born with a physically inconvenient problem that I let cause me way too much emotional pain for way too many years, so now I am now fixing it. Once it%26#039;s corrected, I will forget about it and get back to my life. I%26#039;ve got way too many skills and aspirations to waste my time trying to prove to the world what a wonderful thing it is to be born with the wrong anatomy. I%26#039;ll leave that job to the self-identified %26quot;trannies.%26quot;
Two questions for transexuals?
%26quot;How did you afford the astronomical costs and the physical burden of the surgery?%26quot;
I haven%26#039;t had surgery yet, just hormones. However, the effects of testosterone alone are pretty impressive, and I am 100% %26quot;passable%26quot; (I don%26#039;t like that term. It insinuates some kind of deceit) as a male. Luckily I was born with a fairly small chest that is easy to hide, so it%26#039;s not too psychologically damaging to me. Plus, right now it%26#039;s hard enough to afford the cost of my education. Surgery will have to wait.
%26quot;How did it affect your life and career?%26quot;
In a loooot of ways- some good, some negative. I think the name change was the most difficult thing to deal with in terms of paperwork for school and such. It took awhile for everything to settle down and everything to become recognized under my legal name and not my birth name. It caused a lot of confusion for people, and a lot of extra obstacles I%26#039;ve had to deal with. As far as my career, well, I%26#039;m still in college at the moment. It affected things with classmates, professors slipping up on pronouns, I got accused of plagarism when I first used my new name on papers I%26#039;d turn in, stuff like that.
%26quot;What do you do for a living%26quot;?
I%26#039;m a college senior majoring in medical technology. I%26#039;ve finished up my rotations working in hospitals in the pathology lab. I%26#039;m hopefully going to be starting grad school in the fall.
%26quot;How did the people around you react to the idea of you changing your physical sex (we don%26#039;t change gender)%26quot;?
Some people looked at me like I was nuts. Others thought it was awesome. Some expressed their disapproval, yet remained civil to me. Others started asking highly inappropriate questions when they found out. And still others basically interrogated me, wanting to know everything they possibly could in a matter of 5 minutes. A lot of people made it the only thing they saw when they saw me, as if me as a person faded away, and I was replaced with %26quot;that trans guy%26quot;. I ceased to be an individual person with my own identity and started to become %26quot;that trans guy%26quot; in people%26#039;s eyes. I was trans first, and a person second, and that really bothered me. It still does.
1) I have not had the surgery because of the astronomical costs, the physical burden is trivial. I am continuing to pay off a house and after I am done I will save for the surgery which will take 5 years.
2) I used to be a software engineer, but the burden of not transitioning broke me and I had a nervous breakdown. I am now disabled. The people around me reacted very poorly I was rejected by family for years (they are coming around). At this point people just react to me as any woman, I go to a community college so many think of me as an older woman.
hi sting. well, my career was over before i even considered transition. i am retired military and live fairly comfortably. my wife has worked all her life, still does and she very much enjoys her work. i worked for my church at the time of transition and promptly got fired. after that i took on a couple of temporary projects to see me through transition and grs. %26lt;genital reconfiguration surgery%26gt;.
it was clear, though, that these expenses were going to change our standard of living, but we were willing...as a couple. before surgery my new church hired me as a secretary...it%26#039;s work i love and we are doing quite well now.
i had been in transition three years before surgery so most people i knew just saw it as the next step. my sister, my niece, my best friend and, of course, my wife all went with me when i got the surgery and were a great support system while i was there. the church, as well as several members, sent flowers and notes of good cheer.
i wasn%26#039;t looking for, nor did i want...a new life. i just wanted to be honest in the same life i was already living...and it has worked out very well for me. i was a woman before surgery, before transition...before i left the womb...that didn%26#039;t change....all that changed was i quit lying about it. i am not %26quot;stealth%26quot;, i don%26#039;t %26quot;pass%26quot; as anything but exactly what i am...an affirmed transsexual.
i have found the old cliche%26#039; to be true, %26quot;life is what we make it.%26quot; for me, living life out in the open, in the light, is optimum. i have nothing to hide, no skeletons in my closet...nothing to fear. i am not ashamed or embarrassed at being transsexual, i had no control over being born this way....i have had control over how i dealt with being transsexual and i am ashamed of the time i spent hiding from it, fearing it. now, much the opposite is true...i am proud of all the work i have done as an open transsexual.
another validation was reached just this week. my pastor asked me to assume the duties of chairing the evangelism committee...which will make me the official ambassador for our church. five years ago when i came to this church it was not a given that i would even be accepted at services. there is no longer any question about that...and the next time a transsexual comes to our church there will be no question as to whether he or she will be accepted as well. from %26quot;maybe%26quot; you can worship with us, to ambassador in five short years...yes, i%26#039;m proud of that...and i praise God for all His help along the way. i feel very good about moving this congregation so far so fast....i feel good that now all transsexuals will be viewed in the light...not in the clouds or in darkness.
our lives are what we make of them...i%26#039;ve learned that and i choose to live a happy, successful, busy life in the light.
much love and hope. pj
1. I%26#039;m a healthcare professional and make good money despite not being a nurse or doctor. In addition: When I came out and my ex divorced me I did come out of that with a little bit of money (20k) and that got me started. I also worked hard to save every dollar I could. I didn%26#039;t have a cell phone (still don%26#039;t), no cable, no eating out, no expensive hobbies, eat like a bird, drive very little and no vacations. You get the idea. I came out of transition debt free.
2. Rather not say exactly what I do. I transitioned on the job and have had few problems. The advantage I had was I work nights (hard shift to cover), I work alone and really don%26#039;t have much interaction with other employees. I spend more time in direct patient care and my patients only see the woman that%26#039;s their to help them :)
Well I will try to make a long story short. When I was twenty-two, I got a job working for a lady who eventually became my best friend, and she introduced me to her brother. When her brother and I decided to get married, I was still pre op. and we thought about going to California and getting married as a same sex couple. Then his sister said she would pay for all of my SRS expenses so we could be married as a legal man and woman.
I am now the V.P. General Manager of the company my sister-in-law and my husband owns. I transitioned as a young teenager and my family was supportive of my being a transsexual woman.
Like all the others that have answered I saved as much as I could and at the end of this month I will have all the money for surgery put together. The majority of it will come from my annuity. I will be sending the Medical questionnaire, my first letter of surgery recommendation, and my cover letter to the surgeon of my choice by the end of the week. I will have my final surgery late this summer or early fall.
Transition has affected my life in different ways. I am perhaps in a little different situation than many. I am a single parent. My son lived with me through my transition so at first I was very careful to have it not affect my sons life anymore then possible. As a result I transitioned slower then I would have liked but I think the extra time I took also gave me the chance to fully explore my life.
I worked in a very non traditional occupation. I spent the last 33 years working in the world of heavy construction. Not exactly the friendliest place to transition. I faced a lot of very severe harassment to the point it almost caused me a complete breakdown. I could have gone to the management or the courts to stop it and perhaps I should have but I also knew at the time the company would have just found a way to get rid of me then. Eventually I started with a small crew doing smaller miscellaneous jobs rather then the large industrial complexes. While the other people may not have understood what or why I was doing the fact I was very good and professional at my part of the trade allowed me to transition on the job. I have now retired from that carrier.
For the people around me. It has brought me closer to most actually. I do not have to lie about who I am anymore.
